The only person on the face of the earth who hates Fifty Shades of Grey, or so it would seem.
(Warning: this blog post is not for children’s eyes!)
I’m not going to talk about the morality of this book, although I could, at length, because it’s not my job to tell people how to live their lives.
What I am concerned about is the light indifference and vast ignorance with which violence is linked to sex. The storyline involves an older, handsome, rich man who enjoys inflicting pain and humiliation on his younger, vulnerable, naive girlfriend. The relationship is portrayed as being exciting and fun, despite the fact that the female character is routinely tortured and abused.
When violence is paired with sex, the brain releases two hormones – dopamine and adrenaline. Dopamine is the usual hormone released in sexual activity – it’s the pleasure hormone. Adrenaline, released during inflicting violence on another person, adds an element of excitement that becomes addictive to the point that a person can no longer achieve sexual satisfaction unless adrenaline is released. (Thrilled to Death, Dr Archibald D Hart)
The problem with adrenaline is that it only works for a short period of time, and what was thrilling before becomes dull. Therefore, riskier behaviour must be attempted to achieve the release of adrenaline. This downward spiral can only be broken with professional help. It is precisely this relationship between violence and sex which is sought by rapists and serial killers, who are seeking a thrill though enormously destructive behaviour. (The Sexual Man, Dr Archibald D Hart)
This is a very serious issue, and there are vulnerable girls and women who are experiencing very real pain and fear at the hands of men who must combine violence and sex to achieve satisfaction.
This book does nothing to address the seriousness of the issue; and in fact, treats it great indifference. The author admits she did no research into a relationship in which violent sexual activity is normalised, and perhaps she doesn’t understand the destructive power of sex fuelled by adrenaline. As a result, she has glamorised the physical, sexual and emotional abuse of a naive and trusting young woman.
I fear for the many vulnerable girls and women who pick up these books and are deceived into thinking that a violent relationship with a dangerous man is thrilling and exciting.
That’s why I will not allow these books into my home. There are so many wonderfully written books in the marketplace that will edify your soul. Do yourself a favour, and read those instead.